10May - an aside
It's interesting. I suppose in many ways it's a matter of perception, but when I find satisfaction in getting through a difficult night, such as Saturday night, it isn't in terms of having succeeded in getting through it but in having succeeded in not having failed at it.
Despite my suspicion that things would be busy, I had allowed myself to be surprised when, in the course of ten minutes, we went from a single table of 7 to a full restaurant (including another table of seven) and a short wait. Things went a bit blurry for a while but I did find some satisfaction in not responding to the situation as I'd be inclined to and as I had in a recent nightmare of mine, which was rather like Saturday night. In my dream I stopped, announced that i was going home to lie down for a minute, and that I'd be back.
Stress is interesting. How we deal it it. How we don't. How we might need it sometimes to feel alive.
Maybe we can start advertising an evening as a server on a busy night as an extreme sport.