09 August 2008

09Aug-unusually pointless self-indulgent post.
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I wonder sometimes about our tendencies to sublimate our assorted tensions. Frustration at X can be more easily expressed through frustration at Y. Or enjoyment in Z is tangentially, and more easily, enjoyed by exploring A. Food, alcohol, social interaction are all ways one can use to fulfill desires, whether they be as straight-forward as the three aforementioned subjects or they be more deeply hidden from others and/or ourselves.
I love wine. I can happily engross myself in a bottle of wonderful wine for hours. Certainly, I'd prefer to be with others so that the experience is shared and that moment is spread through more memories than my own but I find that I can close my eyes and enjoy glorious wine by myself, just for the intrinsic experience. But where does the enjoyment of it end and my desire not to think about whatever begin?
I can come home after a long day's work and spend an hour cooking just for myself, with four things happening - two elements of the stove, one in the oven and one in the toaster oven - but is that so I can enjoy it or so that I don't have to think for the duration of the cooking?
I squeeze in years of personal exploration in one year with the various classes and challenges I shoehorn into my already busy week but why? Am I working hard to get where I want to be or working hard to avoid where I am? Or both?
How many of us know why we do what we do?
Are my questions another way of detaching myself so that I can try to deal with something as a puzzle and not as life?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

to accompany the pointlessness of this post I'm adding a pointless video of me cooking dinner to a Ben Webster tune one night after work.

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